....Uff, hmph ... hoof ... yawn.... Mama? Hi Mama... Time to get up and go for our walk? It's awfully dark in here.... Look out the window ... it's awfully dark out there, Mama.... Middle of the night, Mama ... my little bed is soooo snug ... rather dream about chasing those cats.... Snuffle, rhumpf, hoof ... zzzzzz....
Okay ... light outside now ... never did catch the cats .... time to go for our walk now, Mama ... time to get up, Mama ... Mama? Mama? Where are you, Mama? Gotta go see ... into the bedroom.... Snuffle, snuffle, snort, hoof.... Mama??? Mama???
There's Daddy ... my leash ... bending down to put it on me ... gonna take me to Mama?.... Gotta see Mama ... out the door ... where's Mama's car??? Sniff around where it was when we came home from our ride yesterday ... where's Mama, Daddy? We walk and walk ... look under bushes, shrubs ... back to the house ... run to the bedroom, look in the bathroom, look in the other bathroom, the kitchen ... where's my Mama??? Whine, snuffle, scratch at the back door .... look on patio ... sniff, rhumpf, hoof.... Where's my Mama, Daddy? My Mama's not here.... Why won't you take me to Mama?
Okay ... I'll take those butterballs and that ham ... mmmmm ... you're a good Daddy ... but I still want my Mama.... Walking and trotting and chasing birds is tiring ... hoof, rhumph ... little nap ... then find Mama.... Snuffle, rhumpf ... zzzzzz....
Snort, stretch ... run to the bedroom to get Mama ...whine, hoof, snuffle, cry ... can't see Mama in the bed ... can't see the top of the bed with my little short legs ... maybe the bathroom ... other bathroom ... kitchen ... guest rooms, living room ... where's my Mama???? Daddy, why isn't Mama here??? Have you done something to my Mama??? Hoof, snuff ... Daddy, I want my Mama!!! Where is she??? What did you do??? You'd better tell me ... look me in the eye ... I am a serious doggie.... grrrrrrr....
Okay ... leash ... let's go find Mama.... Root, snuffle, ramble, sniff.... Where's Mama? Airplane???? ... Mama's on an airplane? What the woof is an airplane, and why would Mama leave me to go on one???? Makes no sense to me.... Fly??? Birds fly ... Mama doesn't fly.... Did you send her away on that airplane thing??? Where is my Mama????? You bring her back ... NOW ... I want my Mama!!!! What did you do to my Mama??? Gotta take control.... Stare at Daddy.... grrrrrr....
More butterballs ... you think I don't know there's medicine in there? I'm a smart fellow, Daddy.... Mama knows I'm smart.... Still, they taste really, really good ... eat some just to humor Daddy ... but they are really, really good ... and eat some of that food in the dish ... keep up my strength ... gotta find Mama....
Run to the bedroom ... nose under the ruffle, all around the bed under the ruffle ... Mama, are you there? Closet ... Mama's shoes ... clothes ... smell Mama ... Mama smells good ... but where is Mama? Look out the back door ... no Mama.... What's that??? The shower ... Mama takes showers ... oh Mama!!!! Run to the bathroom ... can't get over the side of the tub ... damned short legs ... waiting, waiting, dancing ... Daddy comes out ... wet, dripping ... drips on me, ick! Ewwwww! Not Mama..... Where's Mama, Daddy??? grrrrrrrr..... Want my Mama ... NOW ... take me to Mama!!!!! Look Daddy in the eye with a masterful gaze.... grrrrrrrr.......
Daddy and the leash again.... Are we gonna find Mama now??? Gettin' tired of this game ... outside, birds, cars ... silver car!!!! Mama has a silver car!!! Whine, scratch, paw, sniff ... not Mama's silver car. Little short legs ... why don't I have long, powerful legs? If I had long tall legs I might see Mama just down the street.... Look under bushes (can't see over them with these little short legs), around trees ... Mama, Mama.... Daddy, what have you done with my Mama??? Mama wouldn't leave me.... I want her ... NOW ... need to see Mama, gotta see Mama ... gotta see her ... gotta see her ... gotta see Mama....
Back in the house ... run to the bedroom, snuffle through the closet, rumple through the bathrooms ... sniff here, sniff there ... look behind the curtains, snuffle ... look at those lazy cats over there ... they won't help me look for Mama.... Don't they care that Mama's missing??? Fickle, fickle ... as long as they have their Fancy Feast, they don't seem to care who gives it to them ... harrrumph, snort.... Don't they know Mama is the food giver??? Don't they care??? Well, Toody helped look some.... Maybe my friends Murray and Bogart could help.... But Daddy ... where's my Mama??? I want to know NOW!!! BRING ME MY MAMA!!! NOW!!! Look the Master in the eye with an animal gaze.... grrrrrrrrr......
Getting dark again ... Mama, it's getting dark!!!! Ring, ring, ring ... Daddy picks up something ... talks, talks, talks ... holds thing down to me ... I hear Mama ... but where is Mama??? Mama??? Mama??? Did Daddy put you in that thing??? Bark, bark ... Mama, Mama ... I can't see you Mama....
Mama can you hear me???? Mama can you see me???? Mama are you near me, can you find me in the night??? Mama can you help me not be frightened? Streisand ... I could be a Vegas show dog if I wanted to ... sing, dance ... little short legs.... Drat!!! Mama ... please Mama, pat my head, stroke my back, tickle under my chin ... Mama can you hear me???? Please, Mama....
Daddy puts that thing down ... can't reach it ... little, stubby legs ... should have loooooong, graceful legs ... and paws with opposable thumbs to pick up that thing to see if Mama's in there.... Look in the bedrooms, the bathrooms, the closet, the dining room, look on the patio.... Dark outside.... Where's Mama? Daddy, where's Mama? What have you done with my Mama???? grrrrrrrr........
Stalk Daddy to kitchen.... grrrrrrr.... Stalk Daddy to bedroom.... grrrrrrr..... Stalk Daddy to the bathroom.... Dog him.... Make Daddy tell me.... I am a dog of substance and I will not be trifled with!!!! grrrrrrrr......
Tired ... stalking Daddy is hard work ... gotta rest ... climb into my little bed with my little short legs ... think what to do to find Mama ... think, think, think.... snort, rhumpf, hoof ... zzzzzzzzz.....
Dark .. late ... no Mama.... More butterballs??? Dude, they're good, but you're not gettin' the big picture here.... My Mama's missing... she's gone ... you're not helping me find her ... you must know something I don't know. What have you done to my Mama???? You know where Mama is, don't you??? Take me to her NOW, Dude ... before I have to ruff you up!!! Mama, Mama ... bedroom, closet, shoes, bathrooms, kitchen ... cat box ... yech!!!! Gross!!!
Okay, Daddy ... Tried to be nice about this ... only growled at you just a little bit ,,, just to show you ... make my point.... But here I am ...seriously ... look into my eyes ... deeply.... I'm doggedly determined, Dude!!!! No more messin' around here.... I want my Mama. Want her NOW!!! grrrrrr ... stalk ... grrrrr ... stalk ... grrrrrr..... This room's not big enough for both of us without Mama in it.... grrrrrrrr..... stalk....
Humph??? The door??? Mama???? Mama???? MAMA!!!!! Yip, woof, hoot, roll, rhumpf ... MAMA!!!!! You're here!!!! You're home!!!! Scratch my tummy, Mama ... ruffle my ears Mama ... MAMA!!!!! I FOUND YOU!!! I FOUND YOU MAMA!!!!! I'm a goooood doggie.... Snuggle, snuffle ... hoof ... Mama's lap ... zzzzzzzz....
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8 comments:
I can now empathize with the late security guard Richard Jewell, "a person of interest" in the 1996 Atlanta Olympic bombings. Being a Person of Interest in the investigation of a serious federal crime isn't like actually being accused of committing the crime ... you are just the prime suspect. In real life and on all the "Law and Orders" you're usually safe if you are accused in the first twenty minutes of the episode. Plot twists will save you. But I digress.
Noah, is a usually sweet, butterball-eating little dog of an indeterminate age. Having been previously mistreated and adopted by us as a shelter dog, he now thinks he has found Puppydog Heaven; he almost completely credits his Mama Jennifer with having accomplished this feat single-handedly. Oh yeah, there's this guy, Yahn, hanging around his Mama and he's OK, but it's really just Mama and Noah.
So on that dark predawn morning that Mama disappeared, Noah believed that dirty business was indeed afoot. Mama's car was gone. There was another silver car outside but he quickly sniffed out that it wasn't really Mama's. After due sophisticated grid searches of the premises and surrounding area, Noah decided that this guy Yahn MUST have done something dastardly to his MAMA.
If you've ever been followed by not too subtle detectives, that's what that whole day was like as Noah became more and more convinced that I had surely done the deed and had somehow gotten rid of his Mama. Dirty looks, growls, and pointedly accusatory yelps, Noah made his suspicions obvious. When Jennifer finally returned home late that evening, apparently unharmed by this Yahn, little Noah could barely contain his excitement; he danced, he wagged his poofy tail, he barked. Heaven 0n Earth had been restored. All was well except for that Yahn guy. He may still be up to no good....
I laughed when you told me the story on the phone and I am still chuckling from the written version. Our pets are so precious and even more so when they provide us with hours of entertainment even when that is not the intended outcome. I think you have pretty much nailed Noah's thoughts during this time of trial for him. Poor Yahn!
I love the story about Noah. I'm going to tell our three dogs - Demelza, Dexter and Dolly. They'll understand. I probably won't tell our cats Sweetie and M.K. - they're already unimpressed with us and wouldn't care if we went missing.
Driscilla, I love the names of your pets! We don't have any dogs, just grand dogs-Indie and Koda. We have 3 cats, Coalie, Bandi, and Chloe and grandcats, Mama, Princess, Beau, and Bella. We also have 2 grand red slider turtles, Small Small and Big Big, and one corn snake named Corny. We never know who or what will come next. All it takes for our 3 cats to go into a deep depression is to pull out our suitcases or bags so now we are forced into sneaking them into the house and hiding them in the guest bedroom, but even that doesn't work very well. They all have this inborn ability to know when we are leaving. Of course, then I am filled with guilt and forced to give them many hugs and treats.
Driscilla and Nicki ... thanks for sharing all your pets' names. I love knowing what other people name their "babies". Of course we have our Noah, the "author" of this post ... but sometimes we call him "Hoofie" because of the little "hoof" noise he makes when he is settling in to rest or when he wishes to express frustration, as he did during his hunt for me.
Then there are the three cats ... Calamity, who is a tortie female, also called "Lami" (given to us as a kitten by Paula's daughter Marsha right after Paula died); Gaius Maximus, a gray and white shorthair, sometimes referred to by Yahn as "gleefully amoral"; and Antonio, a small (though fully grown) black and white longhair called either "Tony" or "Toody" for short, because of his big green eyes and achingly sweet disposition.
Like Nicki, we have to take great pains to hide our suitcases when we are planning to travel anywhere, because the cats in particular are onto us. Calamity immediately takes her post on any bag she sees and dares us to move her. Gaius does everything he can to interfere with our packing, including trying to trip us between the closet and the bag. Toody just sits there and cries piteously, as if his little heart will break.
Anytime Noah is awake enough to see me pick up my purse, he heads straight for the door and stands there, wagging his tail, dancing and ready to go. Getting past him is a real challenge, involving subterfuge generally known only to those affiliated with the CIA and/or the FBI. And if I ever look into those big trusting brown eyes ... well, let's just say he goes with me A LOT....
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Jenn: I knew when Wayne just cracked up listening to you tell this tale on the phone that it would make a good story for the blog. Pet lovers can’t help but love it. I got such a picture of Noah desperately seeking Jennifer! Thanks for writing it! I know dogs are loyal, but having been rescued by such wonderful parents, he must be doubly so. He looks so healthy and cute.
We’ve had three dogs: Freckles, a Springer Spaniel (from the Fort Worth shelter) that was our son Greg’s 11th birthday present; Brandy, a Golden Retriever given to Wayne by the lawn mower repairman (Wayne is also a sucker for dogs people are ridding themselves of); and Barney, a black lab also from the Fort Worth shelter given to Wayne by Greg (over my dead body) for Father’s Day years ago. Then there have been the “unofficial” pets of the manor: Larz the Lizard on the Porch (who, by the increasing number in the family has been renamed Larzette); and Sammy the Squirrel who lived in our big oak tree for years until we took it down. Poor thing came back for several days looking for his home. Talk about a guilt trip!
I know it’s said that pets are good for you in your old age, that they lower your blood pressure and love you unconditionally. My husband wasn’t too calm on the occasions that he discovered one or the other of the dogs had chewed the wires off the lawnmower, the line on the pool vacuum, shredded an electric blanket, various shoes, and grabbed a choice piece of beef off the grill. You’d think we never fed them!
Thanks again for the Noah update.
Dear BFF LK: So glad you and Wayne enjoyed the story ... and thanks for the suggestion to put it on the blog ... Noah only required a modicum of convincing to set paw to mouse ... and a handful of his favorite treats sealed the deal....
Good to see you back on the blog, too....
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I had to laugh at Noah's story, but Noah seems calm compared to my dachshund Sasquatch whenever I have to be gone. She wails and howls and carries on so, no one in my family wants to keep her. I think she was passed around to too many people before I got her, and she's terrified that I'm going to go off and leave her with someone else. She's just a basket case....
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