From time to time we have all been subjected to viewing or hearing about an incident in which someone has been injured or attacked while by-standers look the other way and ignore the incident, refusing to offer assistance to the injured person. Recently, an incident occurred where an older man crossing a busy city street was struck by an automobile. While he lay dying in the street, passersby on the sidewalk and in the street failed to offer aid or even call 911 until several minutes had passed, apparently afraid that they were being “punked”. Unfortunately this has not been an isolated incident and we continue to hear more stories similar to this. Of course, the person in the car which struck the man did not stop either. At the time the story was in the news someone commented that we as a society have lost our “moral compass.” Interestingly enough, when I Googled “moral compass”, I found that there are any number of quizzes online ready for anyone who wishes to test his/her moral compass. Also, interestingly enough, I found that many of the Google hits combined “moral compass” with politics, advertising, or sex, but for now those are other stories.
It would seem that most of us equate moral compass with a code of ethics, values, beliefs or faith which we use to formulate a code of conduct for ourselves and our expectations for the behavior of other people. When this code of conduct is violated there is an immediate reaction of feeling very uncomfortable and inevitably, there is a need to rectify any actions that have been taken by correcting our behavior and/or apologizing. When we find ourselves accepting the behavior of someone who breaks our personal codes, we have to wonder if we are losing our moral compass while at the same time we become fearful that we are being “judgmental” or “intolerant” which once again leads back to our code of conduct or moral compass for ourselves and expectations for others and society as a whole. Now if this sounds confusing, I expect that many of us struggle with accepting a world in which there seem to be fewer and fewer guidelines for what is considered “acceptable” values and “rules” for behavior. It is easy to remember a time when good manners and concern for others was the norm rather than rude behavior and lack of caring for fellow humans. It is easy to remember when violence and blatant sexual behavior was forbidden on television, the movies and in public. It is easy to yearn for the “good old days” when life was much simpler and almost everyone shared a common code of behavior.
Today the norm for one’s life or behavior would seem to somewhat emulate the behavior of an ostrich hiding its head in the sand so it can’t see or be seen. Some would say that we as individuals and as a society have become too complacent and apathetic about what we do or what we see. It is just so much easier to ignore the present and look to a less painful or stressful time in our lives –the past. This phenomenon is referred to as a “collective drift” and it can occur when focus becomes rooted in the past of what used to be. We become lost in our memories and in reflecting on our memories until the past over shadows and outweighs the present and the future. We began to drift away from the reference point or anchors that constitute our core values that make us who we are. Taking it a step further the term is loosely defined as “when our memories of what used to be, exceed and outweigh our dreams, the end is near.”
A collective drift can occur in any setting-the work place, a family, a church, as well as the greater society. The collective drift is likely to occur during a time when we are lost in our memories and are so focused on “the good old days” that phrases such as “that’s not the way we used to do it”, “life was much simpler back then”, and “in my day”, constantly occupy our speech and thoughts until we give up and retreat from the present and any dreams for the future.
Behaviors attributed to someone on the verge of a collective drift could include: skipping events that they once valued for trivial reasons such as “Everyone else plays golf on Sunday morning so I can too” or "Working out is no fun."until the habit is lost and attendance is no longer important or “It’s too much trouble
to learn to do this so I am just going to do it the old way” until a new method for teaching or working is abandoned one person at a time; “No one else takes 'green bags' to the grocery story so I'm not going to either"; "It is too inconvenient”; “It is a waste of time to recycle so I’m just forgetting about it"; Once again a retreat to the past is preferable to dreams for a better future.
Additionally, when negative thinking becomes a habit, a collective drift might be close at hand especially when the negativity spreads from person to person. Examples of “stinking thinking” that result in poor attitudes include:
"This is too much trouble."
"What’s the use!"
"It doesn’t really matter anyway."
"I am just one person and I can’t do it all."
"Let someone else do it."
"That’s not my problem."
And, of course, “ I really don’t want to get involved.”
Any of these statements, attitudes or actions often lead to collective drift away from some established core value or reference point—one person at a time. Basically individuals have stopped sharing, have stopped dreaming and have begun to focus on what “I need” rather than what “others need”. The person involved has lost heart and has forgotten the possibilities and visions for the future that were once held.
It seems to be especially easy for those of us in a certain age group, to find ourselves on the verge of a collective drift so we have to be especially vigilant to keep our memories in the proper perspective. Memories are important and necessary for everyone, but we have to remember not to live in the past or to get lost in our memories. Even at our age, our focus belongs on the present and the future. Our memories only serve us well as we continue to dream.
So much of our desire for a wonderful present and future depends on factors such as cultivating an attitude of being grateful and counting our blessings; seeking out like minded people who promote health and happiness rather than discontent and negative attitudes, continuing an attitude of service to others rather than an attitude of what can others do for me; continuing to use our gifts in positive ways of service and for personal happiness; maintaining an attitude of encouragement to others and by reminding ourselves and others about what is important, and by looking forward to tomorrow and the future and continuing to dream.
Sometimes it is necessary to get creative about dreaming and maintaining a hold on the present. We are never too old to have fun, to learn new things, to make new friends, to contact old friends, to love, to become a part of something, or to forget what is important to us.
Never stop dreaming!
note: The term "collective drift" comes from a sermon by Pastor Tommy Politz at Hillside Christian Church in Amarillo, TX.
It would seem that most of us equate moral compass with a code of ethics, values, beliefs or faith which we use to formulate a code of conduct for ourselves and our expectations for the behavior of other people. When this code of conduct is violated there is an immediate reaction of feeling very uncomfortable and inevitably, there is a need to rectify any actions that have been taken by correcting our behavior and/or apologizing. When we find ourselves accepting the behavior of someone who breaks our personal codes, we have to wonder if we are losing our moral compass while at the same time we become fearful that we are being “judgmental” or “intolerant” which once again leads back to our code of conduct or moral compass for ourselves and expectations for others and society as a whole. Now if this sounds confusing, I expect that many of us struggle with accepting a world in which there seem to be fewer and fewer guidelines for what is considered “acceptable” values and “rules” for behavior. It is easy to remember a time when good manners and concern for others was the norm rather than rude behavior and lack of caring for fellow humans. It is easy to remember when violence and blatant sexual behavior was forbidden on television, the movies and in public. It is easy to yearn for the “good old days” when life was much simpler and almost everyone shared a common code of behavior.
Today the norm for one’s life or behavior would seem to somewhat emulate the behavior of an ostrich hiding its head in the sand so it can’t see or be seen. Some would say that we as individuals and as a society have become too complacent and apathetic about what we do or what we see. It is just so much easier to ignore the present and look to a less painful or stressful time in our lives –the past. This phenomenon is referred to as a “collective drift” and it can occur when focus becomes rooted in the past of what used to be. We become lost in our memories and in reflecting on our memories until the past over shadows and outweighs the present and the future. We began to drift away from the reference point or anchors that constitute our core values that make us who we are. Taking it a step further the term is loosely defined as “when our memories of what used to be, exceed and outweigh our dreams, the end is near.”A collective drift can occur in any setting-the work place, a family, a church, as well as the greater society. The collective drift is likely to occur during a time when we are lost in our memories and are so focused on “the good old days” that phrases such as “that’s not the way we used to do it”, “life was much simpler back then”, and “in my day”, constantly occupy our speech and thoughts until we give up and retreat from the present and any dreams for the future.
Behaviors attributed to someone on the verge of a collective drift could include: skipping events that they once valued for trivial reasons such as “Everyone else plays golf on Sunday morning so I can too” or "Working out is no fun."until the habit is lost and attendance is no longer important or “It’s too much trouble
to learn to do this so I am just going to do it the old way” until a new method for teaching or working is abandoned one person at a time; “No one else takes 'green bags' to the grocery story so I'm not going to either"; "It is too inconvenient”; “It is a waste of time to recycle so I’m just forgetting about it"; Once again a retreat to the past is preferable to dreams for a better future.Additionally, when negative thinking becomes a habit, a collective drift might be close at hand especially when the negativity spreads from person to person. Examples of “stinking thinking” that result in poor attitudes include:
"This is too much trouble."
"What’s the use!"
"It doesn’t really matter anyway."
"I am just one person and I can’t do it all."
"Let someone else do it."
"That’s not my problem."
And, of course, “ I really don’t want to get involved.”
Any of these statements, attitudes or actions often lead to collective drift away from some established core value or reference point—one person at a time. Basically individuals have stopped sharing, have stopped dreaming and have begun to focus on what “I need” rather than what “others need”. The person involved has lost heart and has forgotten the possibilities and visions for the future that were once held.
It seems to be especially easy for those of us in a certain age group, to find ourselves on the verge of a collective drift so we have to be especially vigilant to keep our memories in the proper perspective. Memories are important and necessary for everyone, but we have to remember not to live in the past or to get lost in our memories. Even at our age, our focus belongs on the present and the future. Our memories only serve us well as we continue to dream.
So much of our desire for a wonderful present and future depends on factors such as cultivating an attitude of being grateful and counting our blessings; seeking out like minded people who promote health and happiness rather than discontent and negative attitudes, continuing an attitude of service to others rather than an attitude of what can others do for me; continuing to use our gifts in positive ways of service and for personal happiness; maintaining an attitude of encouragement to others and by reminding ourselves and others about what is important, and by looking forward to tomorrow and the future and continuing to dream.
Sometimes it is necessary to get creative about dreaming and maintaining a hold on the present. We are never too old to have fun, to learn new things, to make new friends, to contact old friends, to love, to become a part of something, or to forget what is important to us.
Never stop dreaming!
note: The term "collective drift" comes from a sermon by Pastor Tommy Politz at Hillside Christian Church in Amarillo, TX.
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3 comments:
Nicki, your post is thought-provoking, and certainly timely. It was only last Wednesday, June 25, that a homeless man was beaten to death, in broad daylight, by three teenagers in Cleveland, while many cars and passersby slowed down to watch what was happening, but did nothing to help or stop the attack until after the man had sustained fatal injuries. I was appalled when I heard (and later read) about this story, and I could not help but wonder, again and again, if those passive witnesses were able to sleep that night, or live with themselves in the aftermath. The sad answer that occurs to me is that they likely slept very well ... and have suffered and will suffer no pangs of conscience for their aiding and abetting ... yes, I said aiding and abetting ... this awful incident.
The earliest similar occurrence I can personally recall is the killing of Kitty Genovese of Queens, New York, stabbed to death on March 14, 1964 ... within 100 feet of her apartment. After initially stabbing her, at which time she cried out repeatedly that she had been stabbed and needed help, Genovese's attacker drove away from the scene, returning some 10 minutes later, at which time he sexually assaulted her as she lay dying, robbed her, and stabbed her again ... multiple times. There were at least a dozen people who witnessed or heard some of the attack, but some thought it simply a "lover's quarrel" ... which begs the question: even if it was a lover's quarrel, why did they not try to help this woman ... this person ... who had been brutally stabbed and murdered almost literally under their noses? One famous quote at the time was from a woman neighbor, who said: "I didn't want to get involved." The few people who had called the New York Police Department to report the attack while it was in progress were apparently unable or unwilling to convey any sense of urgency ... or the police themselves refused to assign any sort of priority to the alarms. Apparently, as indicated by last weeks incident, many of us have not come very far in this area since we graduated from CHS.
Unfortunately, I fear a "collective drift" to apathy and self-interest has affected our country more and more during my lifetime ... sometimes fueled by outright hatred of those "who are different" or who have different ideas, no matter the merit of those ideas ... and sustained by those who are too ignorant or too calcified into "the way things were" when they were growing up to read, or to think, or to take information from any news source that doesn't fit with their narrow world view.
My earliest memory of this is racial discrimination ... in schools, in towns, in marriage laws ... in the murder of three civil rights workers in Mississippi in 1964 by white racists who were determined to deny equal rights to some of their fellow citizens ... just because of skin color ... because they were "different".
The latest, and ongoing, battle for civil rights is being fought over whether gays ... our fellow citizens, our figurative and sometimes literal brothers and sisters ... should be permitted to marry. Rudimentary apology to those who would disagree, but puh-leeze!
Of course gays should be permitted ... indeed encouraged ... to marry, if that is their desire. And those unions should be recognized by local, state and federal governments. Our Constitution guarantees equal rights to all ... there is no exclusionary wording as to whether one is gay. (It should be noted that the Constitution did of course refer to the equality of "men" ... meaning free white men at the time ... without specifically addressing the rights of women or slaves or people of color, or American Indians ... oversights which have been and are still being rectified.)
Applicable case law would be (with appropriately named plaintiffs) Loving v. Virginia, the decision rendered on June 12, 1967, which overturned laws against interracial marriage in all of the United States ... although as with Brown v. Board of Education, 347 U.S. 483, rendered in 1954, it took a few years for the law to realize its full effect. (Childress schools were still not integrated by the time we graduated almost 10 years later.) In the Court's Opinion in Loving, Mr. Chief Justice Warren wrote:
"These [state] statutes also deprive the Lovings of liberty without due process of law in violation of the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men.
"Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival. To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discriminations. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State."
Although Loving spoke specifically to racial discrimination, I believe the principle is applicable as well to gay marriage. There are those who will disagree, mostly for religious reasons. Some people also objected to integration, citing biblical support for their positions.
Just as with interracial marriage, no one is suggesting that churches be required or forced to perform marriages which go against their doctrine and dogma.
Please spare me biblical references to suggest that such rights be denied. If the Bible were followed literally (though many seem to think it should be) slavery would still be legal, we'd be prohibited from eating shellfish and pork, adulterers could be stoned to death, and wives and children could be beaten to death for not being sufficiently submissive or for straying from "the faith".
And if someone can really, logically and rationally explain to me just how allowing gay people to marry threatens heterosexual marriage, I would be happy to hear your reasoned and reasonable argument. Surely it cannot be imagined that gay marriage would force happy heterosexuals to marry gays? Or is the fear that homosexuality is such an attractive lifestyle that it would "turn" people gay to be a part of it? Rudimentary apology again, but this is ridiculous.
If you don't want to marry (heterosexually or homosexually) then don't. If you don't want to have an abortion, then don't have one. But please keep your hands, and your beliefs, and your coercive agenda off the valid morals and ethics espoused by others.
Another example of collective apathy ... or antipathy ... is our desire (or the lack of same) to become involved with our fellow men and women, in this country and abroad. Among other abnegations of collective social responsibility, I have listened to otherwise intelligent, rational people suggest that they should not have to pay school taxes because they "don't have kids in school." It never ceases to amaze me how totally short-sighted this is. One of the reasons for our country's greatness, particularly in the last century, was its public education system ... although there was much room for improvement then, as now.
For this country to remain great, to return to greatness, we must pour more resources into public education ... specifically, in higher teacher salaries, in establishing an environment where learning can occur, and providing the appropriate materials (including sometimes where necessary free breakfast and lunch) to nourish each student's ability to learn. Over the past decades, certain segments of society have sought to gut the public education system ... so they don't have to go to school with blacks, so they can have prayer in public schools (clearly prohibited under separation of church and state ... and anyone who wants to pray can do so almost anytime he/she wants, quietly and privately without state sanction) ... and so that teaching of bedrock science like evolution and social studies and government can be avoided or bent to a particular agenda. In these attitudes, we have failed ourselves and are failing the future, which our children will inherit ... and we may inherit as well in another life.
We must stop fleeing ... or ducking ... or otherwise convincing ourselves that we can have a great country without paying taxes. Otherwise we have bridges collapsing over rivers, with massive loss of life, and others ready to go at any time. Our highway system, once a marvel and an example to the world, is crumbling ... our police departments are undermanned and underfunded, our cities are deteriorating. It is our responsibility to ensure that this doesn't happen ... and the truth of the matter is that will require more taxes.
And, as for paying more taxes ... yes, the wealthy should pay more. They have reaped the greatest benefits from this society ... and not all of them by the sweat of their brows ... and I believe they are morally obligated to give back some of the gifts they have been given. The inheritance tax for estates over $2 million must be enforced and collected ....otherwise, how is Paris Hilton or some other airhead heir morally and/or ethically any different from the (very few) "welfare queens" who learned to "game the system" and evoked such disproportional outrage in the extraordinarily blessed Ronald Reagan?
I could go on for some time here about related matters, but likely some have already stopped reading. Still, the bottom line is, as John Donne wrote:
No man is an island,
Entire of itself. ...
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to ask
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
I might add that to support discrimination and disenfranchisement against others diminishes us as well. And if a biblical reference is needed, I prefer to believe that we are all, cosmically and humanely speaking, our brothers' and sisters' keepers ... and they (all) should be treated as we ourselves would wish to be treated, or have our loved ones treated.
I also think it is incumbent upon all of us, particularly at our age, to be involved and interested in something. Whether it is working in the garden, or quilting, or reading, or working for a political candidate, or attending plays and musicals, or writing, or all of the above (the more the better) ...those who have no passion for and interest in life are doomed to a lonely, frustrating, painful and looooooong, bleak old age.
You are so right, Nicki, that we must learn to count our blessings (rather than brood on our disappointments); we must seek out and appreciate those who cultivate health and happiness, as we should do ourselves, in our own lives; we must work to serve and encourage our fellow men and women in the best ways we can, to uplift mankind; and we MUST keep dreaming ... of beauty, and peace, and equality and justice ... that we can make a positive difference in our lives and in the world.
We can ... we should ... and we must ... if we are to recognize our full potential as individuals, as a great nation, and again (after some dismal years),as a hope for the world. Yes, we can!
I believe....
)O(
As always, Jennifer, you have taken a topic and given us a masterpiece in reply. One of your most admirable traits is that you have strong opinions and you express those opinions skillfully and clearly. I do agree with much of what you have written and I find it a sad commentary on the times of our lives when people of every race, gender, age, and sexual persuasion still have to fight so hard for equal rights under the law. I am always shocked when I encounter blatant prejudice of any kind.
For anyone who needs a Biblical perspective on predudice and discrimination, I would refer you to the Book of James Chapter 2. It is short and to the point!
Your commentary on taxes and the school system has long been a source of amazement to me as well. I have heard people bemoan the inequity of having to pay school taxes when they don't have children in school many times and hearing this always leaves me holding my head in dismay. Thanks for stating it so very well.
You are so right on that no one can possible ever accuse you of being apathetic. Hooray for that. Now, Jennifer, why don't you tell us what you really think! LOL
I appreciate you so much!
Nicki, thanks so much for your thoughts. I've always followed the old Chinese saying that it is better to light one candle (or a bonfire!) than to curse the darkness....
)O(
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