Our friend Phil Tutor very kindly provided us with a CD of one of his sermons to his congregation, and has given us permission to use a portion of his message here on the blog. We believe that Phil's words hold much wisdom and his thoughts will assuredly be of interest to our blog readers. If there are any errors in transcription or editing, they are mine, and we thank Phil for sharing and making his first appearance in a topic post.. -- Jennifer
1 Corinthians 1:51: ... we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed.... which happens to be somewhat appropriately displayed over the church nursery....
A simple but profound thought: The future will not change unless the present gets disturbed. Now that may be disturbing to you ... we are often afraid of change. But we all want and need change. Change is inevitable. We can't help that. We've got to hang onto things, we can try to keep things as they were, but nevertheless, change is inevitable.
If you don't believe that, go through your picture albums and look at your graduation pictures.
Look at your wedding pictures. When Jennifer and Nicki first got in touch with me, somehow they found a picture of me with my motorcycle and my ink showing and my "wife-beater" shirt on ... and I've got to say that I look pretty dang good compared to the people I graduated from high school with. They look old!!!
The word change is used in various ways. It means to abolish, to alter, to remove, to pervert, to turn about, to overturn or exchange. It means to make "different". Yet, even though change is inevitable, we have a tendency to resist change. Why? Number one is that we feel the need for familiarity ... the stability of familiarity. We become familiar with our surroundings ... the things we do, the way we look, the things we eat. When you go to a familiar restaurant, do you always order the same thing, even when there's something new on the menu? Do you feel like, "Well, I might not like that." So, rather than risk eating something different, we stick with what we know because of the familiarity, the stability.
Another reason we don't like to change is that we become comfortable with the present. So why change? A third reason we resist change is that we become comfortable with the status quo. There's a security that somehow invades our mind and our surroundings, and the status quo is okay.
Unfortunately, without change, we become stagnant, and complacent. Just do the same old thing all the time ... and when anything is changed, it disrupts our whole day. Change can be hard sometimes But if you don't change, we not only become stagnant and complacent, but uncreative. I believe God wants us to be creative. A man by the name of Frank Herbert said: "Without change, something sleeps inside us and never awakes." He goes on to say that the sleeper must awake. Change forces us to wake up. Change forces us into a place where we can see things in a different perspective, a different light.
And the way we are awakened is through change. There's a quote: "If you don't like something, change it." If you can't change it, then change your attitude to that which cannot change. Now there are some things in life that aren't going to change. I mean, as long as man walks on the earth, and travels, you're never going to get a man to look at a map or ask directions. That's just a fact of life, and it ain't gonna change.
Two more great quotes: "If we don't change, we don't grow, we aren't really living;" and "Healthy people change, change brings growth, growth bears fruit, fruit causes health and healthy people change." There are three times in your life that you're going to change. First is when you hurt enough, when you're miserable enough, that you have to change. A second catalyst for change is when you learn enough that you want to change. And third is, when you receive enough, you're able to change.
It's not God's responsibility to change you ... it's your responsibility. I've counseled many married couples over the years and I've heard them say: "Well, I just wish my wife (or husband) would change." But I've learned that when the person who wants change in someone else begins to change themselves, it starts to have an effect on that other person. And of course, if that doesn't work, a good bat upside the head helps.... (Just a little joke here ... not advocating domestic violence.)
I see many people in my ministry who, when things don't go as they like, say, "Well, I want God to do" this or that ... but they don't take any steps to change their situation themselves. And then when God doesn't "fix" it, they say, "Well, I'm just upset with God." And then I say, "Well, I'm upset with you for being upset with God." Some of these people I've counseled for years, and they refuse to take any steps or actions to help themselves, and then when the wheels are coming off, they want to blame me or God. We cannot stand around waiting for God or someone else to change us, when we have the power within us to change.
There are some things I want to challenge you with, if you are contemplating change. If you're tired of the status quo, if you're tired of things as they are, if you're becoming stagnant and your creativity has waned ... you need to think positively. That is crucial. And you need to think creatively ... look for ways to change. Be creative in your positive thinking ... and contemplate what you want the "finished product" to be.
Sometimes we make things too complicated ... so if you want to change things, just keep it simple. You want to get in shape? Don't go out and spend $10,000 on equipment. Just start walking or running. Just start picking yourself up off the chair you're sitting on. Be simple. Be practical. Think practically. I had a lady in to see me recently about going to Africa to be a missionary. And I appreciate that ... I believe there is a desire in her heart ... but why wait until you get to Africa when there is so much to be done right here? I never cease to be amazed at people who want to change, or want to serve ... but they always want to do it in a way that's impractical. So do something about the things that are before you right now ... be practical about it.
You must also think continually, if you want to change. So many people want to change, but when the change doesn't come as quickly as they want, they give up and quit.
And I know some of you think, "Well, should I do this, or should I do that? Is it right or wrong?" You need to change your thinking about that, because "right" is not always clear cut. I often appear at the courthouse with regard to various cases, and I see all kinds of decisions handed down by the judges ... and some of these decisions are going to be "right" for one person and "wrong" for another. And many times those decisions produce justice for no one ... because often there are two "rights" ... there are two stories ... there is more than one life at stake. Most of our society is structured on "wrong" decisions and "right" decisions, what we see as "moral" and what we see is "immoral" ... but our society, the people we associate with, and are related to, all of the things which make us a diverse culture, do not always give blackline definitions of "right" and "wrong" ... and we must be prepared to try to think as others do, to try to put ourselves in their shoes, and then walk a mile in those shoes ... before we make snap judgments as to whether something is clearly "right" or clearly "wrong". And sometimes that requires change in our thinking.
I mean, I used to see people eating raw oysters. And I'd think, "How could you?" I don't want to gross anybody out, but it almost looked like eating a giant loogie. But after someone once dared me into trying one, I can hardly wait to get to some cities that have oyster bars! I mean, as they say in Kentucky, "It's gooder than snuff!" And especially with a big, nice glass of RC Cola ... little Lu'siana hot sauce....
If you don't believe that, go through your picture albums and look at your graduation pictures.
Look at your wedding pictures. When Jennifer and Nicki first got in touch with me, somehow they found a picture of me with my motorcycle and my ink showing and my "wife-beater" shirt on ... and I've got to say that I look pretty dang good compared to the people I graduated from high school with. They look old!!!The word change is used in various ways. It means to abolish, to alter, to remove, to pervert, to turn about, to overturn or exchange. It means to make "different". Yet, even though change is inevitable, we have a tendency to resist change. Why? Number one is that we feel the need for familiarity ... the stability of familiarity. We become familiar with our surroundings ... the things we do, the way we look, the things we eat. When you go to a familiar restaurant, do you always order the same thing, even when there's something new on the menu? Do you feel like, "Well, I might not like that." So, rather than risk eating something different, we stick with what we know because of the familiarity, the stability.
Another reason we don't like to change is that we become comfortable with the present. So why change? A third reason we resist change is that we become comfortable with the status quo. There's a security that somehow invades our mind and our surroundings, and the status quo is okay.
Unfortunately, without change, we become stagnant, and complacent. Just do the same old thing all the time ... and when anything is changed, it disrupts our whole day. Change can be hard sometimes But if you don't change, we not only become stagnant and complacent, but uncreative. I believe God wants us to be creative. A man by the name of Frank Herbert said: "Without change, something sleeps inside us and never awakes." He goes on to say that the sleeper must awake. Change forces us to wake up. Change forces us into a place where we can see things in a different perspective, a different light.And the way we are awakened is through change. There's a quote: "If you don't like something, change it." If you can't change it, then change your attitude to that which cannot change. Now there are some things in life that aren't going to change. I mean, as long as man walks on the earth, and travels, you're never going to get a man to look at a map or ask directions. That's just a fact of life, and it ain't gonna change.
Two more great quotes: "If we don't change, we don't grow, we aren't really living;" and "Healthy people change, change brings growth, growth bears fruit, fruit causes health and healthy people change." There are three times in your life that you're going to change. First is when you hurt enough, when you're miserable enough, that you have to change. A second catalyst for change is when you learn enough that you want to change. And third is, when you receive enough, you're able to change.
It's not God's responsibility to change you ... it's your responsibility. I've counseled many married couples over the years and I've heard them say: "Well, I just wish my wife (or husband) would change." But I've learned that when the person who wants change in someone else begins to change themselves, it starts to have an effect on that other person. And of course, if that doesn't work, a good bat upside the head helps.... (Just a little joke here ... not advocating domestic violence.)
I see many people in my ministry who, when things don't go as they like, say, "Well, I want God to do" this or that ... but they don't take any steps to change their situation themselves. And then when God doesn't "fix" it, they say, "Well, I'm just upset with God." And then I say, "Well, I'm upset with you for being upset with God." Some of these people I've counseled for years, and they refuse to take any steps or actions to help themselves, and then when the wheels are coming off, they want to blame me or God. We cannot stand around waiting for God or someone else to change us, when we have the power within us to change.
There are some things I want to challenge you with, if you are contemplating change. If you're tired of the status quo, if you're tired of things as they are, if you're becoming stagnant and your creativity has waned ... you need to think positively. That is crucial. And you need to think creatively ... look for ways to change. Be creative in your positive thinking ... and contemplate what you want the "finished product" to be.
Sometimes we make things too complicated ... so if you want to change things, just keep it simple. You want to get in shape? Don't go out and spend $10,000 on equipment. Just start walking or running. Just start picking yourself up off the chair you're sitting on. Be simple. Be practical. Think practically. I had a lady in to see me recently about going to Africa to be a missionary. And I appreciate that ... I believe there is a desire in her heart ... but why wait until you get to Africa when there is so much to be done right here? I never cease to be amazed at people who want to change, or want to serve ... but they always want to do it in a way that's impractical. So do something about the things that are before you right now ... be practical about it.
You must also think continually, if you want to change. So many people want to change, but when the change doesn't come as quickly as they want, they give up and quit.
And I know some of you think, "Well, should I do this, or should I do that? Is it right or wrong?" You need to change your thinking about that, because "right" is not always clear cut. I often appear at the courthouse with regard to various cases, and I see all kinds of decisions handed down by the judges ... and some of these decisions are going to be "right" for one person and "wrong" for another. And many times those decisions produce justice for no one ... because often there are two "rights" ... there are two stories ... there is more than one life at stake. Most of our society is structured on "wrong" decisions and "right" decisions, what we see as "moral" and what we see is "immoral" ... but our society, the people we associate with, and are related to, all of the things which make us a diverse culture, do not always give blackline definitions of "right" and "wrong" ... and we must be prepared to try to think as others do, to try to put ourselves in their shoes, and then walk a mile in those shoes ... before we make snap judgments as to whether something is clearly "right" or clearly "wrong". And sometimes that requires change in our thinking.
I mean, I used to see people eating raw oysters. And I'd think, "How could you?" I don't want to gross anybody out, but it almost looked like eating a giant loogie. But after someone once dared me into trying one, I can hardly wait to get to some cities that have oyster bars! I mean, as they say in Kentucky, "It's gooder than snuff!" And especially with a big, nice glass of RC Cola ... little Lu'siana hot sauce....
So, in closing, I want to pose another question to you. When was the last time you did something 
for the first time? If it's been a while, then it's probably going to require change in your life, which may require risk ... because change nearly always involves risk. So look at risk-takers, because risk-takers are people who want to change.
for the first time? If it's been a while, then it's probably going to require change in your life, which may require risk ... because change nearly always involves risk. So look at risk-takers, because risk-takers are people who want to change. I challenge you to do something different ... if not today, then tomorrow, but don't keep putting it off. Even if it's as simple as ordering something unfamiliar from a menu, or changing your haircut. I have to say that I've worn my hair four different ways in the past 20 years. I've worn it straight, I've worn it curly, I've worn somebody else's, and I've worn it as it is now. And every now and then, I let it grow out just a little bit, and I look like Tommy on "Rugrats". I've also started sporting a partial beard, because I'm starting to have a little bit of a turkey chin, and that hides it real well.
Be Blessed!
Be Blessed!
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4 comments:
When I think of change, I'm always put in mind of the old joke. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?... Only one but the light bulb has to really want to change. Jennifer and I are for better or worse probably change addicts. We have up and completely changed our lives repeatedly over the years. We've both changed. Some might doubt that all the change has been for the better, but like you, we've been many different people in this lifetime (don't even get me started on previous lives.
A lot of this change has been forced on us, some we have sought after, but most of it just seems to happen. One of the most interesting philosophical questions in my mind is, "Who is the I that knows that I have changed?" This is going to take me quite a bit of navel gazing, but that's kind of what I'm working on now.
I really appreciate your thoughts. Almost all of us fear change. Perhaps your thoughts will help some of us be just a little less afraid. In our experience, most of our changes, even some very painful ones, have eventually proved to be positive. I look forward for actually meeting you and having a good long talk. I think it'll flow quite easily.
Hey Phil! We so appreciate your sharing excerpts from your sermon here on the blog ... and must say that it was fun collaborating with you on the post ... particularly in our exchanged e-mails and telephone calls. I've said it before, but I am truly thrilled to have re-made your acquaintance this far down the road from CHS.
We'll have to hit one of those oyster bars that we both like so much ... except if it's okay with you, I'll have a little champagne with mine. To me, that's a little bit of heaven which I originally discovered at the Desire Oyster Bar in N'awlins. I don't think I've had an "R-a-C Cola" (as Brother Dave Gardner was wont to say) since high school ... but I do remember them fondly (along with cherry vanilla cream lime phosphates) as a part of my past.
Yahn and I both are eagerly anticipating getting together with you and Winnie just as soon as our schedules permit. I warn you in advance ... I am a "hugger" ... so be prepared!
Thanks again for letting us use this. We very much hope to hear more from you....
)O(
Phil, your comments about change have really started our thinking wheels turning. Jim and I have had several conversations about change and our attitudes toward this phenomenon and what we have learned about it over the years. Jim is a much more thoughtful thinker than I, and I love listening to what he has learned even when I have to pry it out of him!
Jim is a great fan of Stephen Covey and his "7 Habits of Highly Successful People". He shared with me what Covey says about change and if you haven't read his book, you would probably find it fascinating. Covey believes that when a person strengthens his very core of values and beliefs and faith that he obtains an internal sense of worth and strength that fortifies him against being pummeled by external changes that occur around him and lead to so many of the negative reactions that we see including fear. I believe this reflects back to your point about "attitude" in that a strong faith based person approaches change from a more positive, serene point of view.
Another of Jim favorite books is "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl. Frankl is known for introducing the concept of "the last of human freedoms" which he defines as the ability to "choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances." Frankl was a prisoner in a Nazi death camp. In the book he states, "We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation... we are challenged to change ourselves."
One of the most profound tools that I have learned and have used over the years when I find myself faced with any situation that is causing me stress and frustration at the least is to say and reflect on the "Serenity Prayer." It is a great reminder to me that when it comes to change I only have the ability to look within myself to affect change. I ask for "serenity to accept the things I can not change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." What a great tool for dealing with children, co-workers, and husbands! What a relief to know that I can release others and work only on myself.
I want to share one more story before I sign off:
In 1988 I was working on my master's degree in library science. At that time, I was a school librarian for a middle school in Amarillo. The class was made of people who were librarians on the university level to elementary level. On one occasions one of the university librarians mentioned that she was beginning to hear about something called the Internet or World Wide Web. She wanted to do a demonstration for everyone. On that particular day in 1988 we saw the most amazing thing where through a dial-up connection we saw information located in another university library far far away. There were no bells and whistles, no browser such as Internet Explorer, no pictures, just words in all black and white. There was nothing easy about it. Being the person of vision that I was, I remember thinking to myself, "Well that is interesting, but I am only a school librarian, and I will never have that, so there is no need to for me to get excited about this." Later, in that same program we all had to take a class about computers. I actually cried when we were told to bring a formatted floppy disk to class the next week. Of course, I had no idea what that meant! I was so frustrated by the whole concept of computers--something that "I would never need." When I retired in 2003, I was an instructional technology specialist for the district--teaching teachers to use computers for classroom management and instruction. Change was good!
My least favorite expression remains, "That's not the way we have always done it!"
Looking forward to seeing you,
Jim and Nicki
Nicki, I loved your story about your initial dismissal ... not to say fear ... of the brave new world of the 'net and its possibilities. Particularly when I know so well just how far you have come from that mindset, and am able to appreciate how very much you have put your acquired skills ... and your fertile mind ... to such great use here on the blog.
Your story, and Phil's thoughts, really are inspirations for all of us to stay open-minded and receptive to new things, new circumstances ... not only technology ... but even more importantly, I think ... to new ideas and new thoughts ... new and more creative ways of thinking ... while retaining our grasp on "core" values which matter, or should matter, to us as human beings.
I am so pleased to see you used the Viktor Frankl quote, and told a bit of his story. Frankl is truly a favorite of mine, and I draw much strength and inspiration from his writings. I will add just a couple more of his thoughts here....
Building on one line you quoted, Frankl spoke eloquently ... and so poignantly ... of his experiences in the Nazi camps when he wrote: "We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
Those few men of whom Frankl spoke made their choice to live their lives as men of honor, men of compassion ... remaining true to their own humanity, their own sense of "right" and dignity ... a choice really, FOR "life" itself. By giving away their meager life-sustaining rations to their brothers, they rejected behavior that would have diminished themselves and their souls. They refused to give way to darkness and despair, and chose to conduct their lives in light and hope, where there was so very little of either.
Frankl also wrote: "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked." Those truly human, and humane, men chose their attitudes and responses in those horrible circumstances; they recognized the question and knew it came to each of them, alone; they knew precisely what they had been asked and the potentially deadly ramifications of their answers ... and yet they also knew innately the only answers they could make. Those men, and women in similar circumstances, chose to grow and sustain their souls not only in that terrible time, but for the lives that they knew would come thereafter. Their story is heart-rending, but also uplifting in its proof that such choices are indeed within our grasp, if we are brave enough to make the right choice when the question comes to us.
I have also followed the "Serenity Prayer" for years and find much comfort in it. There is true peace in being able to clearly understand the things one can, and cannot change, and to act accordingly, and honorably, in hope and belief in the future.
"Blessed is the match...."
)O(
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