Celebrating the Journey: The Power of Love: Driscilla and Robert Storrs

Driscilla (Dehtan) and Robert Storrs
April 7, 1967

How did you meet and what attracted you to each other?

We met at the library at Wayland Baptist College (now University). The first thing I noticed was the stack of books tucked under his arm. It was Saturday toward the end of the semester and I was looking for a book to read over the weekend to finish my 1000 pages of outside reading for a sociology class. When I got to the sociology section of the library, the shelf was bare – and Robert (Bobby at the time) was holding three books – the last three in the section – planning to read 1000 pages over the weekend. We talked for quite a while, but I wasn’t able to talk him into relinquishing a book. (To finish my assignment, I borrowed a book from one of the girls in the dorm.) He called me soon after that. The fact that he had a beautiful speaking and singing voice and a great smile didn’t hurt at all!

What was the biggest thing that you had to change or learn to make your marriage work?

I had to learn to cook. Before I married, my mother and my sister did all the cooking - I hope because they wanted to. In spite of the hours spent in Miss Long’s homemaking class, I never developed an affinity for cooking. I’d just as soon eat crackers and peanut butter and drink diet Coke for a meal. Our first oven didn’t work (we paid $12 for it, so I guess we got what we paid for!) and I incinerated everything until we figured out the problem was the thermostat. We bought an oven thermometer and took hours trying to get the right oven temperature. When Robert graduated college and went to seminary, we took the stove with us. I used it for 4 years. It was a thrill to leave it behind when we left Ft. Worth. To this day, Robert won’t eat tuna noodle casserole because I made it so much during seminary days. Tuna and noodles were cheap and we could make a casserole last for two days. The final straw for Robert was when we finished off a tuna noodle casserole, it still two days until payday and we had tuna and noodles in the pantry. I fixed another casserole. When we sat down to dinner that night, Robert looked at the entrée and said, “I thought we finished this last night.” I cheerily said, “We did. This one is new.” As I said, to this day, he refuses to eat tuna noodle casserole. In the following years, I cooked for our three girls, their friends, individual students and student groups that Robert worked with, international students, visiting seminary dignitaries, church potluck dinners, and various people Robert invited to eat with us – the man who delivered our washer and dryer, the postman, students selling encyclopedias door-to-door. In spite of all this “practice,” I still hate to cook!

What was the biggest challenge you triumphed over as a couple?

We’ve certainly had our share of “challenges” to face. Probably the toughest was the year that Robert was without work. That year changed us both. I was the wanna-be-stay-at-home mom who had taken a part-time job to save money for the girls’ orthodontic work and college. Robert was the gregarious never-enough-people-around person. During that really tough year, Robert became a hermit, and I had less and less time at home as I took on more and more duties at work to meet our expenses. It was a miserable year – one that I’ve said I wouldn’t, couldn’t go through again – but we survived it.

How has your relationship changed over time?

Our relationship became a lot easier as we stopped expecting from each other what we simply could not provide and learned to appreciate what we truly had to offer. I finally learned to understand that Robert could not give me some of the emotional support that I expected from him. For instance, he doesn’t get mad with me. Some people say it’s because he’s a Libra and likes things in balance, so whatever side I’m on, he will look for the strengths in the other side in order to keep that balance. Whatever the reason, we were both happier once I stopped expecting from him what he could not give. Robert figured out that sometimes I get very down, and he learned to give me time to work out whatever was troubling me. We’ve learned not to let small annoyances become big issues.

What accomplishment are you most proud of in your life?

As you might expect, my proudest accomplishment is our children. We have three girls – a blonde, a brunette and a redhead – a nurse, a teacher and a former teacher now a stay-at-home mom. I’ve told them many times that if they were not my daughters, I would still want to be their friend. They are the delight of my heart. They are all smart and funny and can cheer me up in any circumstance.

What activities do you enjoy doing together?

At one time, Robert and I jogged about 35 miles a week, but that was years ago. These days, we still enjoy walking together. For my birthday a couple of years ago, he bought bikes for both of us, and we’ve enjoyed trying to bike together. We took the bikes to Caprock Canyon where we tried to off-road on a trail that turned out to be too difficult for us – on a day that turned out to be 103 degrees – with only a 20-oz bottle of water for each of us. It wasn’t pretty, but we did come out with a survival story! We also took yoga classes together for two months – where I fully expected to get thrown out of class because something always “happened” – like Robert coming up with his own yoga poses of Beached Whale and Walrus (a variation of Beached Whale with a finger-mustache). We also enjoy movies (though I like romantic comedy and Robert likes action so it’s hard to find a movie we both like). Mostly we love spending time with the kids and grandkids!

What is your favorite thing about being married?

My favorite is not being alone. I’m a ‘fraidy-cat and love having someone to answer the door when the doorbell rings at 3 AM (Rosa’s Mexican food delivery – wrong address) or to drive when the roads are bad. Mostly I like the fact that we’ve shared so many years together that we actually understand each other’s corny jokes.

What is your least favorite thing about being married?

Waiting. I seem to spend half my life waiting for Robert – to go somewhere, to come home, to get out of a long meeting, etc. Other than that, I can’t think of anything.

Is there anything you haven’t accomplished that you dream of doing together?

Not really. Unless you count getting fabulously rich and sharing the wealth with family and favorite charities. Or being foster parents for a dog rescue group. Or learning to square dance.

In your experience, what is the secret to a good marriage?

There are so many things that go into a good marriage – mutual respect, good sense of humor, shared goals, etc. But the one word I’ve settled on is commitment. It’s not glamorous, but it’s very practical. In fact, I figured this out during the class reunion in 1978. Our week of vacation ending at the reunion turned out to be one of the worst weeks we’ve faced together. We were living in Colorado at the time, driving to see my folks, then to the reunion. We had car trouble 8 miles from Clayton, NM, where Robert tried unsuccessfully to fashion a temporary fan belt using the elastic band from pantyhose. He finally ended up hitching a ride into Clayton, leaving our three girls and me sweltering in the car until he could get back with a real fan belt. We continued to have trouble and kept pouring our drinking water into the radiator and turned off the A/C. From the back seat, our 2-year-old daughter woke up and said, “I dirsty.” I reassured her that Grandpa would have water at his house. When we arrived at Daddy’s house in Plainview at midnight, there was a note on the screen door (this was long before cell phones) that they had been called out of town on an emergency and didn’t know when they would return. Our girls drank from the garden hose in the front yard. We tried to find a motel to spend the rest of the night, but there was a basketball clinic in town. We stopped at every motel between Plainview and Lubbock to find out they were all occupied. (It gave me new appreciation for Mary and Joseph and their plight when “there was no room for them in the inn.”) We finally found a place in Lubbock where we spent the night, but our vacation budget took a severe blow. In the morning, I called Kay Ann and Gayle and whimpered, “Hi, this is Driscilla Dehtan. Do you remember me?” Bless their hearts, they did! We spent the day with them; then, when it turned out that we couldn’t go to Mama’s house in Dimmitt that night, Kay Ann and Gayle even put us up for the night! From there, we had other fiascos during that trying week, including the near-drowning of two of our girls at the motel swimming pool in Childress at the reunion. After the reunion, Robert and I returned to the motel in separate cars (probably so we wouldn’t kill each other!). I rode with Kay Ann and Gayle. I told them all about the miserable trip. Kay Ann turned to me and asked, “And what is the Lord teaching you?” My mind came up with all sorts of negative things I’d learned on the trip. But the words that sprang to the top of my mind and out of my mouth were: Marriage is a commitment. After that, everything fell into place – or I didn’t notice anymore that they were out of place. We’ve been through some tough times since that revelation, but the truth of the words has never left me: Marriage is a commitment.