A sure cure for a bad day or a bad mood is to visit your nearest greeting card shop and spend time reading the cards. It is impossible to not find your spirits lifted a bit when most of the cards lend themselves to laughter. We often spend much of our time laughing at the cards that in some way deal with the subject of aging, after all many of our friends are now hitting 60 and above, and we want to find just the right card to emphasize that they will soon be the recipient of many of the "ravages of time." You know the ones I mean, loss of memory, loss of hair, loss of one's sexual urges, loss of energy, loss of one's teeth, loss of hearing and the list goes on. While we laugh, it is also hard to not feel a twinge or two when some cliche or another hits home. The truth is, as the bumper sticker says, "getting old is not for sissies." The expression carries more truth than fiction. In many ways aging does hurts. All of us carry with us more aches, more pains, more health conditions and more pills and medicines. Additionally, aging in our society often results in loss of self esteem and a loss of self worth brought on by among other things the media. If we are not seeking out nips and tucks for every part of our bodies, we are led to believe that there is no way we can ever be considered beautiful or desirable again.
Recently my son-in-law and daughter commented after a trip to St. Kitts that the people who seemed to be having the most fun were a large group of "blue hairs" who invaded the swimming pool with little or no regard as to how they looked in bathing suits (even bikinis). Apparently their raucous comments which included the word, Viagra, were accompanied by merriment and loud laughter! Obviously these people had found a way to live long enough to become an "embarrassment to their children" as they lived life to the fullest.
So where are you today my fellow aging classmates from the class of 1963? Are you going to take this aging thing lying down by giving in or giving up, or hiding your head in the sand hoping it will all go away. I say a resounding NO to that. It is time to take back our lives to assert ourselves as being vital, important , and fun. Will you say "bring it on" like Linda Kay and Jennifer? Will you adopt the philosophies of crabby, cranky,Maxine from those Hallmark Cards and join her in "snarkiness?" Will you spend your time wishing you were 16 or 20 again or will you admit that 60 is sexy and as some say now that 60 is the old 40?
As for myself, I am really really glad to be my age.
I would hate being young and naive, or facing life again without the experience and hindsight that I have today. I would hate not being a grandma.
Let me share with you my 10 commandments for the aging me!
1. I will never let my health issues and ailments be
my main topic of conversation, EVER!
2. I will be active everyday.
3. I will remember that I am not 30 or 40 anymore
so I won't hurt myself trying to act as if I am.
4. I will try not be become a burden to my children.
5. If I must become a burden to my children, I will do it with style and finesse.
6. I will learn to do something new everyday.
7. I will never lose my enthusiasm for experiencing new things
unless that new thing could put me in the hospital.
8. I will never use expressions like "in my day" or
"that's not the way we've always done it."
9. I will remember that wrinkles and lines really are a sign of experience and hopefully wisdom so I can be reminded to be grateful to be who I am, myself!
10. I will never let Jim wear black socks and dress shoes
with shorts and a tee shirt in public. (This commandment was initiated by Jim!)
Now in light of the above, it is my pleasure to share with you photos
that Darryl Morris has shared. While he is no longer the young man in the white jacket
that we see in our annuals, he definitely exemplifies the statement that "We are not getting older; We are getting better." Thank you Darryl for being brave enough to share with us in hopes that some of the others will do the same.
Here's "Papa" with granddaughter Louisa Claire Morris-Uebel. I'm wearing my typical "farmer's uniform." (I should get a big discount on haircuts, shouldn't I? ).jpg)
And here's Sharon (on the right) with her sister and dearest friend Janell who died of cancer a year ago this past August.
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The daughters of Darryl and Sharon.The three sisters during an amusing
moment: L-R: Debbie, Nicki, and Sharyl.
The reunion was held at the Wellington VFW hall, thus all the stars and stripes.
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Darryl refers to their home as a Little Slice of Paradise
The Meadowlands
Seven acres that offer,among other things, wonderful peace of mind.
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13 comments:
How wonderful to see Darryl again. Mr Morris, You are as handsome as ever! I will bet that you still smell wonderful too! LOL!
Your daughters and wife are beautiful. Wonderful Family. What a life. Of course, that little "slice of heaven" of yours doesn't look too bad either. Isn't it amazing what brings us peace of mind. Mine is my little treehouse where I live. It is my place on earth, my space, my peace.
Thanks for sharing that part of your life.
Darryl is still "golden" ... with that wonderful, rich glow that comes to seasoned, treasured pieces of gold .... Or ... wait! Perhaps that "glow" is the sun setting on .... Never mind .... I'm going to the corner now ....
Nicki, with the attitude and determination you’ve expressed in your 10 commandments, I feel sure you will never grow “old,” no matter how many years you add to your life-span.
I particularly like commandment # 1: “I will never let my health issues and ailments be my main topic of conversation, EVER!” Sharon and I know people younger than we are for whom sickness, surgery, aches, and pains have become their only “life content” (as the psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, a survivor of three Nazi concentration camps, puts it). Exclusive focus on physical maladies, Frankl continues, robs life of the beautiful meaning that is to be found in what he calls “a cause to serve, a person to love.” And I think we all know that a life without meaning is a life not worth living.
Another good friend of mine says that his mother-in-law is so focused on her various physical ills that she can’t recall incidents from the past except as those incidents relate to one ailment or another. He tells me that when he asks, “Do you remember when we last saw so-and-so?”, she will reply with something like, “Oh, yes, that was back in 1972, two weeks after I had my gall bladder surgery.”
I’ve always liked the question, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” This question points out, I believe, that a lot of how you feel in your later years depends on your attitude toward aging. And I’m happy to say that my wife Sharon’s attitude is great, as indicated in this anecdote: Some time ago Sharon went out to Fort Sill to do our grocery shopping at the commissary. The trip took longer than usual, I thought, and when she returned home I asked her how things went. “Oh, I would have been home a whole lot sooner,” she said, “but some old man kept following me up and down the aisles and talking to me all the time.” “Was he hitting on you?” I asked, jokingly. “Yes,” she said, “I think he actually was.” “How old would you guess him to be?” I asked. “Ummm, probably around 70,” she said—and then we simultaneously burst out laughing at the realization that we, too, are “around 70.”
Tell us more about your treehouse, Sheila. It sounds like my kind of hideaway.
Yes, Jennifer, that glow is the evening sun reflected by my bald pate. Now, you stay in that corner until you learn how to deal with “elderly people” with a bit more respect. Ha!
Nicki, your comments and your "10 commandments" are so true, and so applicable. And, as always, Darryl has added insight and wisdom to the discussion Nicki has begun with this post, as our "elders" are 'posed to do! :)
At the risk of tampering with the numerical and historical aspects of "10 commandments", however, I feel compelled to add an 11th, to which inclusion I can speak from personal experience (without a recitation of ills and ailments).
The 11th Commandment would be: Don't put off the things that you want and dream of doing. As we are becoming more and more aware with each passing year, time is fickle, treacherous, and not at all inclined to defer to our personal wishes.
Travel to different, and especially exotic places, has always been high on my list of dreams. The first time Yahn and I were able to take a "major" trip (to Acapulco for Christmas/New Year in 1983 ... just before my longed-for first trip to Paris in June 1984), age and genetics had begun to take what became an inexorable toll on my weight. When the subject of a beach vacation in Acapulco was broached, I paused (briefly) to think: "Oh, Jeez Louise ... maybe we should postpone the trip until I can lose some weight." I also had (for about a nanosecond) similar thoughts before we went to Paris. But ... if we had waited, we might never have gone, and I would be so much poorer mentally and spiritually for that loss.
We spent the next 20+ years traveling all over the world, and sometimes people would say things like, "Well, I personally want to see the USA first." And that was fine for them, their preference. We did a lot of that, as well, during those years. But Yahn and I both had family, and friends of family, who had waited all their lives to retire so they could "travel" ... and then, by the time they were retired, they were no longer able to travel to the places they wanted to go. And so ... we went, and DID, and experienced and LIVED!!! I wouldn't trade a minute of it, and even now am hungry to see and do more!
I'll mention one ailment, in passing, in service of this post. In 2005, Yahn began having health problems that now preclude his flying. So, now we go to Sedona, or San Francisco, or Los Angeles, or Colorado, or other places we can reach by car ... and we love them, too. But if we had waited to see the world until we retired, we wouldn't have seen much of it, and would have missed SO much.
We also LEARNED during our travels ... about other people, other places, other customs. In Hong Kong in 2004, we took tai chi lessons for the first time with a Master of the discipline, then took private instruction in both tai chi and qi gong after we returned home. As do Nicki and Darryl, I think it is also important to "feed" the mind and expand the soul all the time we are alive, in whatever ways we are able, so that we may keep growing, and evolving, and thinking. I have said in another entry to this blog that I cannot imagine a life lived in stasis ... unchanging and unfruitful ... a soul slowly dying for want of nourishment.
As many of you know, my dear Yahn has gallantly agreed to let me run off to Paris in March with Raenell, JoAnn and Linda Kay. And these BFFs and I will have a life-enhancing experience to treasure for all the years that are left to us. So I encourage all of you ... DO the things that you want to do, while you can ... whether it is a trip to Paris, or art classes, or the 2008 reunion or Las Vegas, or just contacting an old friend with whom you've lost touch. Don't put things off until tomorrow, because none of us is guaranteed that there will be one.
Patrick Dennis' character, Auntie Mame (one of my role models!), said: "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving!" I hope all of you partake ravenously of the banquet, for all your days.
My little treehouse, my little slice of heaven is a little tin cabin that has been built into the side of a hill. Aside from the unassuming architecture and lack of landscaping, the house has presence. AS you walk into the front door, which is actually on the side of the building, all you can see is shades of green, treetops within reach, framed by two wonderful large windows. Of course I know it is just a building, but it is mine. On the back of the house, there is a very private deck where I keep my favorite plants and a little chiminea. Many nights I sit out there talking to the little owls that come to visit with me as I watch the moon set. To me, it is the place where I have always dreamed of living.
Come visit anytime. I have a Childress flaw in that my door is alway open.
Shelia,
I love the sound of your little tree house. It sounds so cozy. I have always had a fascination with tree houses and from time to time I have seen tree house bed and breakfast places that have tempted me. I think that living "in the trees" would be wonderful and adventurous. I am glad you shared the description with us.
Nicki
I have to say ... one reason I have enjoyed reading this blog so much is that I get a different glimpse of my mother and my parents. (Don't worry; it's a good glimpse.)
I very much loved what you wrote about aging, Mom, because as I turned 39 and as I near 40, I FEAR getting older, for the very reasons you stated. I absolutely love reading y'all's stories and current adventures, and I enjoyed watching the "blue hairs" on our trip to St. Kitt's, because I am given hope that "maybe aging won't be so bad."
As for the 10 commandments, all of them are personal to me in some way, and I know that many of them were formed from your experiences in caring for aging parents. Folks, my parents have been the model of dealing with difficult aging parents. They have provided my sister and me with a perfect example of how it should be done, even when it's hard.
Somehow, though, I know that because of those difficult experiences, my sister and I will cherish the time we get to spend with our parents as they grow older. Maybe they'll have us fighting over who they get to live with!!
Mom, Dad, all the difficulties you experienced will pay off for you, because Kim, Vince, Dorsey and I will feel honored to care for you.
Y'all are the best!
I can always count on Jennifer and Darryl to add a new dimension to our conversations. I love the new perspective and wisdom that they both bring to the topics.
Jennifer your Commandment 11 is right on target. Thanks to my son-in-law, Vince, I would probably say, "I will remember that life is not a dress rehersal." He has made this statement to us many times and I do need to take it and your words and examples to heart. I do envy your life of travel and adventure and just living. You guys are going to have a blast in Paris; I just know it. I can't wait for you all to share when you get back.
Darryl, the writings of Viktor Frankl are some of Jim's favorite. He has always been inspired by what he reads. I shared your quote with him, and it really gave us something to think about.
I love the Sharon story. We have experienced similar eye-opening events. It makes us laugh too! Tell Sharon that we can tell by looking at her photo that she is a role model for all of us when it comes to getting older. No wonder the "old guy" followed her around the store!!
Cat's Meow, thank you for the kind words. However, when it came to parent care, I am afraid we failed on many levels. There are times when I wish we could have do-overs, but I suppose we did the best we could at the time.
No need to fear aging--it really isn't so bad at all!!! Take Darryl's comment to heart.
"I believe, that a lot of how you feel in your later years depends on your attitude toward aging."
So many commentable things!
I'll start with Darryl----beautiful family! I also enjoyed Sharon's story. We used to be amused by my mother making comments about "those old people over there". She couldn't understand why they were in her assisted living arrangement. I realized that I have always considered myself younger than my peers. I get a wakeup call everytime I look in the mirror.
Jennifer, Don & I plan to travel more----can't wait!
Cat's Meow----that was a beautiful tribute to your parents. There is nothing more satisfying than that for a parent.
Sheila----I WILL make it to Austin & the tree house. Sheila and I have been planning a combined birthday dinner for how many years?
Thanks again to Nicki & Jennifer for this great forum.
A reminder to live every day to the fullest, and to cherish our friends and family: The blog has learned of the death of Mary Ann Townsend, CHS Class of 1965. Many of us remember Mary Ann from childhood, and from high school. This is her obituary from the Lubbock Avalanche Journal, which gives the URL for online condolences, for those who wish to extend sympathy to her family.
Mary Ann Townsend
Mary Ann Townsend of Shallowater departed this life on Nov. 8, 2007. She was born on June 27, 1947, in Wichita Falls, daughter of Shell Huges Townsend and Enid (Robinson) Townsend. Mary attended grammar and high school in Childress. She graduated from Texas Tech University in 1970. Mary Ann was a grandmother. She was a member of the National Quarter Horse Association; Texas Tech Alumni Association; and a member of Equestrian Stables. Mary attended the First Baptist Church in Shallowater.
Those left to cherish her memory are two daughters, Holly Whitehead of Abilene and Kelly Scroggs of Shallowater; and four grandchildren, Haley, Audrey, Lily and Jared.
Memorial services will be held at 11 a.m. Nov. 12, 2007, at the First Baptist Church in Shallowater, with Rev. Mitch Wilson officiating.
Cremation arrangements are under the personal care of White Funeral Home of Lubbock. Online condolences may be sent at www.whitefuneralhome.com.
Nicki, your comment about your lacking efforts in taking care of your aging parents puts the phrase, "Life is not a dress rehearsal" in its proper perspective. In this life "do-overs" are not available. I understand how you are feeling about your parents because my mother just died on Sept 11 of this year. I would give anything to go back and do over so many things of the last few months of her life. She was great...I wasn't. Her death put a new perspective on aging and death for me.
Cat's meow, you are a wonderful kid...child...product of two wonderful people. I am sure that Jim and Nicki deserve all of that wonderful respect and love. Kudos!
Darryl Morris, please do not leave us. AS I read your comment, I felt that wonderful sense of security that you offered us when you were our teacher. Like the Sensei, you will always be our teacher. All I can say again is that you have a gift and you bring it to us. Thank you. I learn something new everytime you speak...and I promise to eventually learn how to use a comma!
Nicki, your 10 commandments are pretty much dead on. I kinda got lost on #10, but I really think Jim is gonna be rather cute with black socks, dress shoes, shorts and a T. Does it really matter what he wears as long as his heart is good? Your #7 makes me laugh. I am planning a trip to Phoenix to visit with my son, Robin, and his wife, Lili. Lili, who is our events coordinator, was asking me if I would like to go hiking with them. Of course I said, "SURE!" and all the while I was thinking...is this gonna put me in the hospital?? Walking is one thing, hiking South Mountain in Phoenix is another story!
OK...I have yammered long enough.
OH yeah. Jennifer, #11 is an absolute.
It is my sincere belief that everyone, especially women, should spend at least 3 months working in a nursing home. I say women because I am told that they outlive men. In a nursing home life has a whole different reality and it is one that will affect each of us if we live that wonderful long life.
Clara, the treehouse and I are awaiting your arrival. I will bake a chocolate cake if necessary and even buy some Blue Bell French Vanilla Ice Cream. You can bring the tomatoes if you have any left from the fall festival. What else can I offer? Maybe a decent meal with some great wine before dessert?
Nicki, my place is not exactly the B&B of your dreams even though there are many others in the Lakeway area. Mine is just a little cabin, and it is perfect for my very simplistic nature. At any rate, you are welcome to be here any time you wish. I would LOVE for you to come visit. If you are into B&B, look at Wimberley. That little town survives on the B&B industry. They even support a Jazz Festival in January. Great Jazz! Plus, Wimberley's Woodcreek Golf course is supposed to be the MOST treacherous in Texas????!!!It has been compared to Pebble Beach in CA.
Jim Wilcoxson, I was just laughing about your black sox/dress shoes phobia. There was a time when I promised myself that I would NEVER wear JOX...I think that was a 70's running shoe. Not sure about the spelling...but anyway. I had to deal with a heal spur and the doc put me into running shoes, which was the same ugly thing. No longer do I get to wear my stilettos, nor even those cute little pumps. BUT!!! I have found a way to make those running shoes look very fashionable! Call me if you need some help!! LOL!!
I have three more "finds" for the "older but better" column. Within the past week I have spoken with Preston Stevens, Max McClendon and Ron(ald) Lawrence. Although I am hopeful (as ever) that they will join us on the blog, and add their own updates of their lives, briefly ....
Preston retired from his law career as a prosecutor in Odessa, and now lives with his wife in the Cloudcroft area (specifically, Mayhill) in New Mexico. When I told him about the reunion, his exact words were: "All right!!!" He seemed quite enthusiastic about both the blog and the reunion, and we anticipate hearing more ... and seeing him (?) ... in the future.
Max is pastor of the Church of Christ in Shamrock, after having served at churches in Mobile, Louisiana and Seattle. He and his wife have two grown sons. Max indicated that he would check out the blog and might write a more detailed update for publishing here.
Ron and his wife Deborah live in a suburb of Denver, where Ron teaches high school math, after retiring from a long career in the oil business ('bidness, as J.R. ... Ewing, not Bell ... would say). He said that he works with his students on "extracurriculars" such as prom planning, and that my message to him earlier this week had prompted him to think of reunions and old friends. He looks forward to perusing the blog and hearing more about the Las Vegas Reunion.
And the beat goes on ....
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