Is That A Kalashnikov ... or Are You Just REALLY Happy to See Me?

Subtitled: Strange Bobcat Encounters in the Land of Moses

My husband Yahn likes to tell me that planning is what you do while you're waiting to find out what's REALLY going to happen. On Saturday, the day after I posted "'Cat Tracks ..." and other esoterica and ruminations on road trips, it became necessary to postpone my trip to Childress for later in October. So, at this juncture, I am still "connected", for better or worse, depending on how you look at it. The upside of the postponement is that Raenell and I will get to jointly celebrate our birthdays while I am there!!!!

The other upside is that have been here to nag Mike Spradley into telling another of his great stories, and he has come through in grand Sprad fashion. So, without further ado, again in Bobcat Blue, I give you Mike Spradley.

Okee dokee.....the Sinai Desert story.......I told this story to my 1973 Lubbock Monterey High School Reunion and was voted the biggest liar at the reunion........begins....

During the '70s I spent many years conducting seismic surveys in the Red Sea. I worked for the Israelis while they were in charge, as well as the Egyptians when they were in charge. Sometimes I worked for both of them at the same time which almost got me "kilt off" a couple of times. I worked on the reefs on the West side as well as the East side.

This particular story was the first job beginning in January 1973. Our program was conducting seismic over these beautiful coral reefs from Sharm El Sheik north to Ras Gara. Sharm El Sheik had been a huge Egyptian fortress before the '67 war and was the last place captured by the Israelis in '67. So, in 1973, Israel had some pretty serious military forces all over that desert.......This was the only job I have ever had where I was issued my very own sub-machine gun (which was a early version of a Kalashnikov carbine that I used to shoot up my miserable Israeli box lunch everyday ... until they took my bullets away). My rifle was stamped 1956....which meant it was captured by the Israelis during that war when we were all in the 6th grade.......it had never been fired and only dropped once.....ahem ahem....I digress.....

Soooooooooooo....one day.....I am on my navigation boat laying out instruments. "Bing bing bing".....my computer room calls me on the radio to tell me it's all screwed up and I must return to fix it. The route back by boat.....through all the reefs....was quite tricky.....and according to the map on the navigation boat......i was only 3 kilometers from the boat to the computer room......."across the desert!!"......by myself!!!!.....but not to worry....not to worry ... so I had the boat get me as close to the beach as possible.....water over a coral reef can be quite deceiving.........I thought it was knee deep.......so I stepped off the boat.....ta ta!! into about 7 feet of water...... Spoolooosh!!!!....so....now I am drenched......in the desert......in January....and it is colder than the witch's mammary gland in a tin can....but???

Not to worry.....off I go...the boy from Childress.....following a similar path as other former greats.....(like Moses, actually)......but and however.....my idiot navigator measured the distance incorrectly......instead of 3 kilometers....it was more like 7 kms. Wind was blowing like Hades over my wet clothes....I was freezing like the dickens....so I reached the conclusion that I would be warmer if I took all my clothes off......which I did....forthwith....I then had on my tennis shoes and my US Navy hat....and all the secrets that only my Mommy knew......it was much better. Everything shrunk up in the cold so I even had less skin exposed. heh heh.......

After about an hour of traipsing across the desert......I see....waaaaaaay way way off.......an Israeli military halftrack moving perpendicular to my path. It was a troop carrier.....with a bunch of troops in the back.....Whan' sho nuff......they seen' me....and taken' off in my direction..... So anyway, someone in the halftrack saw this figure crossing the desert and decided to pop on over to check me out......as they got closer and closer I could see all these troops in the back.......and then....they wuz upon me!!!....and they started circling around me in that track. They were all wearing helmets and goggles....just like in that Patton movie......after about the 2rd circle around me......about 5 or 6 of them took off their helmets........and guess what....you got it......

T'was the Israeli womens' army riding around in the desert......looking for anything extraordinary......and apparently,...nothing I had must have reached their standard of extraordinary.....because on the 3rd pass.....they took off to their original position....just a'waving and a'whistlin" and a'holler'n........did not offer to stop.....or offer a lift.....or exchange phone numbers......

it was the biggest ego popper since Danna Lewellen insulted me in the 5th grade in front of the Palace Theater..... so thas it........I have been back to Sharm many times......there is a natural rock in the desert that looks exactly like the John Kennedy profile on a half dollar....amazing.......I gotta git tho....Sprad

As a footnote to Mike's story, Sharm el-Sheik is indeed a gorgeous place ... wonderful diving ... and Egypt and the Middle East are a looooong way from Childress, and not just in miles. When Yahn and I were in Egypt in 1987, we had taken an overnight trip to Alexandria. On the way back to Cairo, we passed a brand new city rising in the desert, named "6th October City." Immediately recognizing that "6th October" referred to the Yom Kippur War of 1973, which Israel won big-time (after a really scary few days), I asked our guide, Aki, just WHY the Egyptians would want to name a city after THAT war. Aki didn't blink and said, "We won that war." When I called him on it, he admitted that HE knew Egypt hadn't won ... he had traveled outside the country and was educated ... but the Egyptian press and other news sources had convinced MOST Egyptians that they HAD won by carefully culling and editing news and information about the war and presenting a prettier picture to the populace ... all the time, of course, claiming to be fair and balanced ... but I digress ....

We had a day and night in Alexandria, and after seeing most of the sights ... and sites ... we managed to inadvertently crash an Egyptian wedding that night at the hotel. We were welcomed like family and urged to stay and celebrate with them, and had a wonderful time. Later, we ran into Aki in the lobby. Knowing that Muslims are adjured not to drink alcohol, we told Aki we were planning to stop for a drink before bed, and we'd love for him to join us, even though we knew his religion forbade drinking. Aki told us that he would NEVER, EVER drink in front of his family ... but that he had heard of something in our country called "Sunday Baptists" ... and he supposed he was a Sunday Muslim. Fabulous evening, fabulous trip ... and our first of two to the Land of the Pharaohs ....

Come back soon, Mike. We're still awaiting the cheerleader story ....